Please do not let your guilty feelings spoil your child

Too often I see situations where a child comes to school with all kinds of new and expensive clothes that his or her parent buys them. The child brags about it and flaunts the "wealth." Amazingly, this child has the latest phones, video games and wears shoes and sneakers that cost $160 and higher. The same child is failing most of his/her classes and is still being rewarded by the parent.

As a parent, take some time to identify what makes you feel guilty. What are the things that your child says to you that tug at your guilt? Do they talk about the fact that you work too much? Do they mention that you "drove their father/mother away? Whatever it is, address it once and for all by admitting what you see you may have done wrong or what you see that you have no control over. You do, however, have control over whether or not you continue to reward bad performance. Stop the cycle. If you give a lot for low performance, bad grades, then one day you will have to give your child a whole car, just because he finally received a "C."

Talk to some very experienced parents and ask them what worked for them when they raised their child. You can't bribe your child into becoming a responsible student. You have to give him a realistic incentive and let him know that if the criteria is not met, then the reward will not be given. If he/she values the reward, then, he/she will do what it takes to get it. But if they get the reward even if they do poorly, then they will not learn how to be responsible and work toward something meaningful.

Address the guilt. Don't let your child manipulate you. You are the parent. You want to think ahead and act based on what is right, not on the emotions or perspective of a child.